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Dorothy Williams, 1917-2008
By Marc | October 13, 2008
Mom called this morning to tell me Grandma passed away last night.
In a way, it wasn’t a surprise. She had leukemia a few years ago that went into remission, but had recently come back. Treatments didn’t seem to be working and were too hard on her ninety-one year old body anyway. She and her daughters then looked into hospice care. It was just a matter of waiting unless a miracle occurred.
Even though I knew it would happen, it still doesn’t take the shock away. Ask anyone who has lost someone close who had ailing health.
Grandma was a constant in our lives. I know that no one lives forever, but I had never seriously considered getting through this world without her being around. When we go back to visit my hometown, we stay with Mom and visit Grandma. That’s just how it goes. I am fortunate we were able to see her a few weeks ago.
There are so many memories coming back of my grandmother. Staying with her at her and Grandpa’s farmhouse on the edge of Prosser, Nebraska. Every meal seemed to be ground beef, a side of canned vegetables (usually green beans), and something else. Grandpa didn’t have teeth, so he always ate canned peaches or pears on wheat toast. The toaster was always on a little table next to his chair at the table. The only plumbing they had was the pump and drain in the kitchen sink. The only source of heat was an old gas furnace in the dining room/main room. I remember the old out of tune piano and the hide-a-bed couch in the living room. The outhouse had a wasp nest, and the dugout cellar gave me the creeps.
Grandpa farmed a few acres of alfalfa, ran the town dump, and spent a lot of time working in his shop, which was a wonderland of machinery and miscellaneous pieces of metal. He would send my sister and I out with huge magnets on the ends of hanger wire to search for whatever. I don’t know if he did anything with all the nails, washers, and nuts we found, or if he just wanted to give us something to keep us busy so we would give the grownups some peace.
Grandma worked primarily inside the house, taking care of her home. Although Grandpa was a genius with mechanical things, his wife never learned to drive. She was a feisty old German woman who didn’t take guff from anyone, but dished it out quite often.
When I was a teenager, my grandfather came down with Alzheimer’s. Grandma couldn’t take care of him by herself, so we moved them to Chappell, to be close to Mom. Being the mechanic, he would take everything apart (lawn mowers, kitchen appliances, etc.) and forget how to put them back together. Eventually, he started becoming a danger to himself and others, so the difficult decision was made to take him to a nursing home.
It’s been over twenty years since Grandpa passed away, but my grandmother never stopped going. She was almost always never home, walking all over town picking up garbage off the streets to keep the town clean, spending time at the senior center, or visiting with friends. She was a fixture in our town. There wasn’t a single person I know who didn’t like her, and she seemed to be known by everyone. People would often say how mean and ornery she was, but always accompanied by a chuckle. She gave everyone a hard time, but they always knew it was all in fun, and she was quick with a smile and a ribbing.
Grandma had spent the last few years in assisted living and then in the nursing home. You could tell she hated giving up her independence, but knew it was for the best. A definite plus to the situation was she could be closer to her friends. Mom was there almost any chance she got: in the morning, at lunch, and after work. She did her laundry, helped her keep comfortable, and made sure she was well taken care of. Mom was, in essence, her mother’s provider.
When I was a little boy, Grandpa’s mother lived in a little trailer on his property. He cared for his mother in her later years. My mother did the same for her mother when she got old.
When (and if) my mother is unable to care for herself (God forbid), I hope I get the privilege and honor to care for her, or at least be a part of it. It’s a tradition that’s not too common in our culture anymore. There are things I still need to learn and I know my children could benefit from her experience and life.
Topics: Awesome People, Life and Living | 2 Comments »
October 13th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I am so sorry Marc. What an amazing person and I will be thinking of you and your family.
Love ya!
October 15th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Thank you, Michelle.