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Forgiveness and Mercy or Hold On to the Bitterness?
By Marc | September 26, 2008
The Lord says:
“These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men.” - Isaiah 29:13
You know that old adage: Forgive and forget? A lot of times it’s not that easy and seems downright almost impossible.
There are some people in my past who have wronged me, and I think I have gotten pretty good at just blotting the thought of them from my day-to-day life. Some were within the past year, and some were from over twenty years ago. It’s taken a lot of time and a lot of distraction. I’ll admit my confrontations with them haven’t been the best and I can think of a million ways they should have been handled.
I know I’m supposed to forgive “those who trespass against me”. I’ve told myself (and started believing) that I have forgiven them (without confronting them). I am to the point where I can say, “I am a forgiving, loving, Christian man”, through gritted teeth. I know that’s how I should be, so I figured if I say it, I could get on with my life.
Recently, most of those people have snuck back into my brain. A few people were indirectly, where I would read their names or see their faces in a photo. A few were directly, by our lives running together yet again. And the rest were just an influx of memories of the people associated with the previous two examples.
And I find I am not a very forgiving person, at least to those I don’t like. My wife, children, friends, and family I could forgive just about anything. But those who I have willingly separated myself from, I get angry about all the things they’ve done. It’s like a wound that has never healed being forced open and poured over with salt and battery acid.
This last Sunday, the sermon we heard was on Matthew 15:1-20 and conditioning ourselves to act a certain way even though our hearts are still evil. We can pretend to be the perfect person on the outside and hoping that charade will change our hearts, or at least fool God and the people around us. The only real way to fix what’s wrong is for Jesus to come in and make changes. Dealing with the problems instead of covering them up doesn’t hurt either.
The sermon the week before was John 5:1-5 (9/14/08 - Removing Our Crutch) and how the things we hold on to fester and hold us back. The main question is, “Do you want to get well?” There are relationships, frustrations, resentments, and habits we refuse to let go of because we’re comfortable with this stuff even though they’re destructive to our souls.
I really want to get well. I want my heart to be truly free of the sludge. I want to genuinely be more Christlike instead of hoping that if I keep conditioning myself, then I’d eventually get by until I die.
Topics: Faith, Life and Living |