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Christianity: Burnin’ Up
By Marc | August 26, 2008
When I first accepted the notion of God and then turned to Christ, I was a man obsessed. Like most things we feel strongly about, when we first get involved it drives everything. ALL aspects of my life revolved around God, reading the Bible, changing everything about myself to this new life, and getting more involved with the church we went to.
But, most things I really really get into suck up gas in the tank, leave me drained and disenchanted, then eventually I move to something else.
There’s a bit on Bruce McCulloch’s album, Shame-Based Man, called “Baby Jesus (radio)”. In it, a man calls in to a radio talk show saying how much he loves the Baby Jesus. The Baby Jesus doesn’t mess around and doesn’t take any crap from anyone. Then he says he’s only been into the Baby Jesus for a few hours, but he’s really into him. You know his enthusiasm is only temporary.
That’s what I was afraid of happening to me.
Some of them are causes I was much too naive to know better, such as protesting and ranting against the first Gulf War and going to some pro-choice rally. In both of those cases, I didn’t know enough about the facts to make an informed decision. I’m not saying my morals at the time would have been different, but I was just ignorant, so went with the crowd.
Other things are relationships. Since I didn’t really date much in high school, I was pretty unsophisticated. So, in college, I’d date a girl, put all of myself into the relationship, then burn out and end it. As I matured and grew, also spent time alone, I was eventually in a place I could have a mature long-lasting relationship. Fortunately that is with Julie.
Aside from Julie, most things have gotten me burned out after awhile. I was scared this would happen with Christ. I saw in myself the obsession, the engine running at max rpm, but wondered when the tank would hit empty. So I kept listening to Christian music exclusively, reading primarily Christian literature, and having almost my only social outlet being our church.
I was even, for a time, ashamed of listening to hair metal and the other music I grew up with. I thought, and was sort of led to believe, that if I didn’t listen to exclusively Christian music, I would be lost.
When things fell apart with that church, I was sure the bottom would drop out on my faith. I’m sure there are some smug hypocrites who would love to see that happen. Serves me right for leaving, huh?
As time went on, with interaction with Christians outside of “that church”, I saw people who had a burning for Christ, a genuine continuously fueled fire. But, and this is what threw me for a loop, they didn’t just listen to Christian music. They didn’t confine themselves to their own church for social interaction. Their lives spread out in all directions (as long as those directions are moral) with strong anchors in God and their faith. They’re real people not the glassy-eyed brainwashed zombies I thought was expected of me.
Now, I feel far more secure in my faith than even I had in the beginning. There is the saying, “In it, not of it”, meaning we live in the world, but we should not be of this world. We shouldn’t fall into the traps of immorality and sin. But, we should not deny ourselves the benefits of living in this world and finding joy in all the good things it has to offer.
Jesus is still the center of my life. But, I know I was given that life, not only to worship God, but also to live and try to make a difference. And you can’t make a difference when you seclude yourself off from the rest of life.
I listen to a lot of 80’s music, as well as some Christian, in the car now…and I crank them both up.
Topics: Faith, Life and Living |
August 27th, 2008 at 7:47 am
It’s a hard line to walk, that’s for sure. I went through a point in my walk where I threw out a ton of stuff. Comics, books, and music. Actually I took it out to a fire pit and burned it. At that time it felt good and right, but after a while I questioned my motives. Some of the stuff definitely didn’t need to be in my life,and I’m glad it’s gone. But looking back I think I was looking for something I could do physically that would change my walk with God. It’s a lot easier to take a load out back and drop a match on it than it is to get down on your knees and find out what’s really wrong. I still go back and forth about the things in my life, but I’ve found it’s a bit easier to make that call when I surround myself with other Christians.