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The Wife of Your Youth
By Marc | February 19, 2008
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love. – Proverbs 5:18-19
A few weeks ago, the sermon at our church was about love. Go figure. You’re thinking, “But Marc, what are the chances that that topic came up so close to Valentine’s Day”. Trust me, I was floored, because I know these things are almost never planned.
Okay. Well anyway, the pastor, Steve, made the comment that love is not an emotion, it’s a decision. I believe that to be true.
I love my wife. I know that I don’t have to. It’s not something that is out of my control. I love her because I choose to. Sometimes it’s not easy. Sometimes she gets on my nerves. Sometimes I get on hers. Sometimes I really get on hers.
So many marriages are dying because one or both people involved don’t want to make the commitment to love. A wandering eye; a wandering libido. A spouse who’s getting a little lumpy around the midsection or bottom; getting a little wrinkly in the face; getting a little gray around the edges. Trade ‘em in for a newer model. Why not? Those years of bonding and sacrifice mean nothing when you’re bored.
I am an imperfect man. I don’t mean that because I’m a man means I’m imperfect, but the fact that I am human makes me imperfect. I have flaws, just like you do. I would be lying to say that the thought of straying has never entered my mind. It’s not something that lingers and it’s not something that I make an effort to think about. It’s just something that comes in and makes me think about my place. I can honestly say that I will always love my wife and will never stray.
How can I just make this blanket statement? How can I be so sure? I don’t know what will happen in the next few days or few decades. I know because of my choice to love her and my children.
Let’s say I cheat and get away with it. I couldn’t live with myself. I would start acting differently around my family. Also, because of the bond that Julie and I share, I would eventually confess.
If I get caught or I confess, the outcome is a living hell. I risk my marriage and my children. I risk the years of struggle and happiness. I risk my future. I risk their future. What will my kids’ perceptions of marriage be like? I risk the relationship I have with my in-laws. And even if things are patched up and I am allowed back, I will have lost all trust from anyone.
Do I want to hurt her? Do I want to take that chance for a few moments of abandon? The answer is without a doubt “No”. I care too much about her to be that stupid.
I have many many reasons for being with her and remaining true, but not risking our future is only one.
In marriage, there had better be love. Without love, without the conscious commitment to give all of yourself to someone else, a marriage is destined for failure.
Christ said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
I hope that your marriage or your life contains a love like that.
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