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Keep No Records of Wrong
By Julie | November 18, 2007
In 2007, the lyrics of a song are probably the closest most of us get to poetry; for some, lyrics are the only poetry they ever seek out. For me, the words of a song can console me on a bad day, show me I’m not so strange when I feel like a freak, and when things are going good, it’s exercise for my sons and me to dance around and be crazy with.
Even though I love music, I have never gotten into American Idol. I saw it once. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. But I knew I would never care about it, at all. So after devoting myself to one episode, we went our separate ways. A couple weeks ago my sister sent me a video by a woman named Kellie Pickler; I heard she was on American Idol, but since I don’t watch it, I’ve never heard of this Pickler woman. Here’s the video for her song “I Wonder” if you’re interested:
According to interviews on Youtube.com, the song is based on Kellie Pickler’s true story of having her real mom leave her with her grandparents when she was a toddler. She sings it so beautifully, and emotionally. But what really hit me were a few lines in the lyrics:
Forgiveness.
Such a simple word.
But its so hard to do.
When you’ve been hurt.
When I heard her sing those words I thought, it’s pretty, but a bit sappy for me. Then I congratulated myself for have the wonderful ability to be forgiving, and for not harboring ill feelings toward others. Yeah me!
A few days later I was having a rough day and was talking to a friend. In the middle of my pity party she informed me I have not been doing things correctly, and used incidents in my past to point out when I haven’t, in her eyes, done God’s will.
I hung up on her.
She called back, I think to apologize. Instead we ended up battling it out. I recounted her history of hurting me. She threw mine in my face. Finally she got sick of me and hung up the phone. Next, I bawled. It was very mature of me. Not my finest moment. Whoever said, “Words, they hurt.” They were right.
A few days later and I stumbled across those famous verses about love:
Love is patient, love it kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Once again, I was just hurt. I told myself, and God, “See, she’s doing it wrong! She doesn’t know how to love. She wasn’t patient. She wasn’t kind. She was rude. She got mad so easily. And as far as keeping records of wrong, she threw all mine in my face when I just needed someone to talk to.”
Does God have times when he laughs at us? He should’ve been laughing at me right then. I don’t think he was though. I think He very gently said, “By you telling me she keeps records of wrongs, you are guilty of the very thing you accuse her of. If you remember how she has wronged you, you have wronged her by keeping a list against her.
So I tried to recount my actions based upon God’s instructions for love. I realized I was guilty of more. I was not patient or kind. I was boastful in believing I’d handled a situation correctly (though I’d been wrong) and she had been all wrong. This also made me guilty of pride. I was rude. My self pity made me self seeking. And obviously, I was way too easily angered.
As I realized I had been guilty of more than I wanted to admit, the words from Kellie Pickler’s song came back to me. Forgiveness is so hard to do when you’ve been hurt, they’re not just pretty words, they’re honest. And yet, that’s when we really need to do it, and we have to watch ourselves if we don’t because we’ll just end up hurting someone else.
Some people say the Bible is a tool “hypocritical Christians” use to judge others. But I don’t think that’s what it was meant for. I think it was meant to be a tool to judge ourselves, to expose how wrong we are when we’ve justified unjustifiable actions. It points out our shortcomings. It guides us in the right direction, and reminds us when we need to say, “I’m sorry”, and to forgive, as well as realize we need to be forgiven. It really doesn’t matter if my friend was right or wrong. I will never have to answer for her actions. But I will have to answer for my mistakes.
Topics: Encouragement, Faith | No Comments »
