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Mother Teresa had Doubts
By Julie | October 14, 2007
Sometimes life has a habit of kicking the snot right out of us. Of course, not in a way that relieves congestion, (lately my allergies would welcome the relief) but the kind that knocks you to the floor, wondering how you got there, how you’re going to get up, where God went, when he’ll return, and what he has in store to help you. Sometimes we wonder if we were wrong to believe in the first place, and our current predicament is proof of our stupidity.
News reports, magazines, and blogs are having a ball with the recent release of information that Mother Teresa had doubts about God. Her writings mention a darkness she felt, and questions she had for about faith. Some Christians appear to be shocked. Some atheists claim this is proof God did not exist, if Mother Teresa had doubts, well then I’m sure they’ll have us all converted by Halloween.
I don’t understand the controversy. The Bible is full of people, faithful people who loved God, and who God loved, but they had doubts. Abraham doubted so much he had a baby with a women who was not his wife, just to aid God in keeping the promise God gave him. God didn’t need his aid, and when he fulfilled his promise, tension mounted at home. Why, because Abraham doubted.
Moses killed a man and fled. Years later God decided, after Moses had already made a life for himself, to haul him back to become a savior for his people. How did his story end, anger caused him to throw a temper tantrum and Moses never made it to the Promised Land. Although, he received a good trade-off: he’s in heaven with God now.
David was a shepherd boy who was promised the title of King. But before that he fled to the wilderness to flee for life from the current King, who spent 20 years trying to kill him. If you don’t think he had doubts, read through a few of his Psalms, he was the writer of most of them. (He praised God through his tough times.)
The disciples doubted Jesus when he was killed and resurrected. Jesus revealed himself and ten of them believed. Thomas was not present. He did not believe until he saw the hands and touched Jesus’ maimed side.
Saul’s doubts were so strong that he persecuted Christians, violently. How did God reach him? He was struck with blindness for three days. Then he led him to preach the gospel across the land, most of the New Testament is written by Paul (previously Saul).
Over and over we see doubts in the Bible by God’s own people. So Mother Teresa having doubts while she was living is not surprising to me.
Haven’t you doubted? Haven’t you had those times when you’ve fallen, you’re alone, you have no idea how you’ll get up, or if God is even there to help. Sometimes we are put through struggles that last longer, and are harder than we really feel entitled to. We want the Jesus who’s all about love, and grants all our wishes, like a genie. (You have three wishes, what’ll it be! Shazam! It’s granted.) We tend to forget the God who inspired James to tell us:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” (James 1:2)
That’s the God who makes us want to close the book, before we read the next line…
“…because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:3-4)
I don’t like the process of perseverance, it’s hard and demands I reach higher, and strive to be better. But sometimes when I have persevered, I can look back at the progress I’ve made with God and I understand a little of why he put me through it. Other times can still be a bit of a mystery, but one day I’m going to ask God about them.
Are you in a trial that’s giving you doubts? Don’t beat yourself up about it; we’ve all been there, even Mother Teresa. But sometimes the struggles God puts us through are to build our character so we can carry out the purpose God has for us. Abraham had doubts, but God still made him the father of many nations. Moses had doubts, but God still used him to lead his people out of captivity. David had doubts, but God still made that shepherd a King. Mother Teresa had doubts, but she still fed the poor and ministered to the incredible needs of those around her. So, you may doubt, but God just may end up surprising you too.
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