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Stop the Abuse
By Julie | September 26, 2007
Blogcatalog.com is inviting bloggers to participate in their Bloggers Unite “Blog Against Abuse” campaign. They are asking bloggers to post articles today, pleading for a stop of abuse.
This is a timely topic for me, because two days ago I read this article Jeannie Babb Taylor: An open letter to Christian pastors. Her message plagued my mind, making me wonder if there’s something I can do. The article explains that recently Bishop Thomas W. Weeks, III choked, kicked and stomped on his wife, while wearing shoes, in a parking lot of a hotel in Georgia. His wife is pressing charges against her husband, she wants a divorce. Bishop Weeks plans to contest the divorce, saying she was cruel.
Let me add something right here. There are cruel people in this world. There will always be cruel people in this world. However, if someone is being cruel to you, so you choke, kick, and stomp on them, then you yourself have committed a cruel act. Furthermore, part of living is dealing with others, the good the bad and the ugly. It is never acceptable to choke, kick and stomp on a person. If you do choke, kick and stomp on someone, you are cruel. If you want people to believe someone is being cruel to you, don’t commit cruel acts or you may lose credibility.
Back to the story, a few days after Bishop Thomas Weeks, III beat the crap out of his wife in a parking lot he was back in the church giving a sermon. He explained the devil made him do it. And people actually sat in the congregation to listen to him!
The devil can plant things in our heads. He can suggest we do things that are wrong. If you do what the devil is prompting, the devil did not make you do it, you did it! It is our responsibility to be accountable for our actions. Accountability is accepting our rightful blame without looking for a scapegoat. It is never ok to abuse another person. Never. If you abuse someone, admit what you’ve done is wrong and stop doing it! It’s not the devil’s fault, or your victim’s, and it’s not your parents’ fault even if they beat the crap out of you as a kid. If you abuse, the fault rests on your shoulders, despite the crappy childhood you had, or suggestions of the devil himself. If you have been abused, and now abuse someone else, please, look at them before you strike again, and realize, the pain and feelings of worthlessness you felt you are causing in another person. Please, get help, and stop hurting others.
There were a few more disturbing quotes for the above mentioned article…
“…Every day, four American men murder their wives or girlfriends, resulting in 1,400 deaths per year. That’s an FBI statistic.”
Also mentioned…
“Over half a million cases of intimate assault are reported each year. Most cases go unreported. According to the most conservative estimates, between 2,000,000 and 4,000,000 women are battered each year. In 1990, the U.S. had 3,800 shelters for animals, and only 1,500 shelters for battered women.”
What is happening in our country that we care more about our animals than our women and children?
If someone is beating the crap out of you, I’m sure they’re not singing your praises as they do it. What happens to the person who gets beat up and hears…
“This is your fault.”
“You’re nothing.”
“You’re worthless.”
“I never loved you. No one loves you.”
|”You’d be better off dead.”
“You are a piece of trash and you deserve this.”
Physical scars heal. But a person who has spent their life being cut down is still emotionally living the abuse, even when it’s over. If no one notices, cares, or does anything to reverse the damage, does the victim believe‘I’m worthless. I don’t deserve better’. Secretly wishing and praying just one person would love them, but since they’ve never been loved, they don’ know how to reach out to give or be loved?
For a season, I dealt with verbal abuse. I cared about nothing. I was sure I wouldn’t amount to much. I believed every name, every criticism was true. I hated that I was forced to go through life being someone as pitiful as me. I wanted to accomplish something so great that even the people who cut me down would stand in awe and say, “Wow! I was wrong about her!” But, my only real goal was to be invisible, because if you’re not noticed you can’t be criticized. I didn’t do anything to break my cycle, or to be considered great. In that phase I thought everything would change, life would suddenly be easy if I could change my geographical location. Then I moved, and I discovered I had no idea how to reach out to someone, to get close to them. I was terrified of them discovering the failure in me others had pointed out regularly. I longed to connect with someone, but had no skills to do it. That was my turning point.
When you know there’s a big problem inside you and you have absolutely no idea how to fix what you know is broken, what do you do? I didn’t fix me, God did. When I knew I needed help, but was too emotionally paralyzed to reach out for assistance, I prayed and prayed and prayed that God could help me learn to have healthy relationships with loving people. Then I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. God put a variety of people in my life, people who loved me and built me up and accepted me as I had never been accepted before. As my confidence built, I faced people who used me, and tried to hurt me like I had been hurt. God had slowly healed my insecurities, I knew better than the insults that time. I learned to stand up for myself, and to stand in general. God answered my prayers, and healed me in more ways than I knew I was broken. He’s still at work today, because I can still be such a mess.
If you are an abuser, you can get help. Did someone hurt you? Do you hurt others because you have scars from your past? Do you feel a person in your life provokes you and they deserve to be hit? If you’ve been hurt, I am so sorry. But remember the pain you felt from your own torture. How can you make the innocent victim in your life suffer as you have? Please stop. Get help. Someone provoking you is no excuse to hurt another human being. If you feel you can’t control yourself, get away from them, at least until you get help to overcome your own demons. You can be so much more than who you are. Please stop hurting others, for the well being of yourself and those who hurt. Please commit to stop the abuse today.
Have you been abused? Have you gotten through and are stronger now? Do you know now, you didn’t deserve the suffering you went through? Do you remember the agony, and feel one of the biggest blessings in your life is that it’s over? There may be someone living in the hell you went through who has lost all hope. When hope is gone, life is meaningless. Everyone deserves hope. Maybe if you share your story, you could give a them strength to make it through today, or to walk away from their perpetrator to a better life, to their own healing. If you would like to reach out to others, to share your own story of overcoming, please post your stories here. You may build up someone who needs encouragement to just get through the day.
If you are being abused I want you to know something… You are not worthless. It is not your fault if someone hits or criticizes you. And even is you think no one loves you, God loves you. He wants to save you. Do you long to share your struggles but have nowhere to do it? Or you’re too afraid? One beauty of the Internet is anonymity. If you need to share, post here. Our site isn’t huge, but we are people who care. We will pray for you, and try to encourage and help, or find help, if we can. You don’t have to post your real name. No one has to know who you are, or where you live. But if you have horrors that are tearing you apart, we have a place for you. If you don’t feel secure posting on a public web board, even under a different name, send us an email if you need help, Julie@bugskippy.com (If you are worried about someone seeing where you’ve been on the Internet, erase the history from your computer after visiting this page, or posting. It’s simple to do. For most computers, find “tools” in your menu. Then select Internet options. A window will pop up that says, “Browsing History” near the middle. Click “Delete”. Another window opens, then click “delete all”. If your computer is a little different, consult your help section in your browser for “deleting history.”)
I pray God will begin a healing, for everyone involved in this crisis. If you’re living it, I pray you’ll know, deep in your heart, life does not have to continue like this, it could be so much better.
Extra: This is awesome!
Topics: Encouragement, Faith, In the News | No Comments »
