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Man’s Anger: Righteous and Raging
By Marc | September 23, 2007
After I accepted Christ into my life, I quickly realized that I didn’t turn into the glassy-eyed robot pod-person I dreaded I would become. I am the same person I was before, but the more I let the Holy Spirit take control, the more I learn to be a better person. It’s not instant, it’s not always quick, and sometimes it takes a lot of effort not to fall into the traps I was caught in for those previous 35 years. One of those efforts is my dealing with anger.
I’ve known for a long time that I sometimes had a problem with my anger. It’s not a violent anger of hitting people and destroying property. It’s more of a bitter knee-jerk reaction and open-your-mouth-and-see-what-damage-we-can-do type. My anger was one of the primary reasons I became a social outcast in Jr. High (more on that sometime in the future). But, on the other hand, some people would say that often times I have an almost unnatural ability to stay calm in crisis. Perhaps we all have these things within us, but recently I have been called on my anger twice. I won’t give specifics, but one is because of my reaction to stress and incompetence, the other is my reaction to insulting comments.
These got me to look deeper into Biblical teachings about anger. Many non-Christians think that a Christian should be a model of apathetic self-control (as I once did). You know, the whole "turn the other cheek", "hate the sin, love the sinner", and "love your enemies" business. If they got mad about something or at someone, that was another "reason" they were hypocrites, so Christians couldn’t be trusted.
I knew that there was a difference between righteous anger and just flying into a rage, but I didn’t know specifics about what I can do about them in my everyday life. First, just dealing with anger.
Proverbs is an amazing book to read if you just want a few words to live by:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:11
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control – Proverbs 29:11
Many times I’ve realized (usually much too late) that if I either just keep my mouth shut, try to diffuse a situation, or, heck, even grit my teeth and apologize, I can avoid a lot of pain and misery.
The Sermon on the Mount has much about people who either do or desperately want to tick you off. Some of the bits of wisdom are:
"But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." – Matthew 5:39-41.
According to my study Bible, this is in terms of legal matters. If someone wants to insult you, go ahead and let them before you end up going to court. It could also be used for most bullies. With a lot of them, they won’t find it fun if you don’t try to fight back. Of course some of these people actually like hurting people no matter what. If it’s a matter of life and death, yes, sure, resist or avoid that kind of evil person.
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." – Matthew 5:44-45
He doesn’t mean, "I pray that guy would stop being such a jerk." We’re all in this together. The other guy could be going through his own problems. Pray for peace in his heart and peace in your own. Be the bigger man (or woman). Pray for wisdom to deal with your calamity.
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison." – Matthew 5:25
Take care of things quickly before they get out of hand. You are fueling a disagreement if you prolong it, and you also might say something stupid to get yourself into more trouble. This could be said for not only an earthly judge and prison, but also for God, the ultimate judge, and the final prison, Hell. Because, as Jesus says later in Matthew…
"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." – Matthew 12:36-37.
There are many other things about dealing with anger, far more than I could go into here. The Bible doesn’t say all anger is wrong. Anger against evil, against oppression, against hypocrisy and legalism is encouraged. Jesus got angry various times, such as this time when he was reprimanded for healing on the Sabbath:
Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent.
He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. – Mark 3:4-5
He made the Pharisees look like fools at other times, also. When he overturned the tables at the Temple, he was angry at the mockery they were making of God. Jesus said even his own purpose wasn’t just to be all peaceful and non-confrontational like the dope-smoking Monkee-listening commune-living granola-eating dirty hippie many people want to make him to be. (Hey, Dude, you ain’t talking about my Jesus. My Jesus is all about love. He just wants us to all be happy, Man. Whatever feels good, ya know?):
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." – Matthew 10:34
Of course, he did come to bring peace (peace between believers and God and peace between people), but there will be confrontation between believers and people who refuse him.
Jesus had anger and showed his anger, but his anger was without sin. He didn’t just lash out at people by saying something irrelevant, or cruel just to be cruel. He didn’t slander. He didn’t start smacking people around. We can learn from this. Paul writes:
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. – Ephesians 4:26-27
If you are against abortion, don’t bomb an abortion clinic. If someone slanders you or slanders God, don’t slander back. If someone calls you a poopy-head, don’t call him a doodoo-dead. If you have something against homosexuals, don’t protest the…funeral…of a…serviceman. Okay, I can’t even fathom the train of thought that would even lead to that last one. When we do get angry, though, we should be like Christ and use sound judgment in our anger and our reasons for being angry. Sinning in our anger isn’t the same as a sinful anger. One is anger with justificaton that isn’t handled well; the other is just plain anger without justification.
"Hey, Marc, can you give me an example of sinful anger?"
Jonah was an angry man. In chapter 4 of Jonah, the prophet was so angry with God for sparing Ninevah from destruction, that he wished he were dead. God didn’t do what Jonah wanted Him to do, even though Jonah did what God wanted him to do. He wanted things his way, and he was going to pout and scream until he got his way. His anger was selfish and sinful. Fortunately, he dealt with his anger by praying.
Sometimes I get into a discussion or argument that I quickly realize is only going to get ugly if I don’t end it soon. There are a few verses that would have really come in handy in most of those times:
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. – 2 Timothy 2:23-24
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. – James 1:19-20
To summarize: If someone ticks you off, if you’re having a bad day, if the kids are screaming, if whatever: take a breather and find a constructive way to deal with things. Also, pick your battles. It’s not always easy, but after a while, you’ll get to know what arguments are stupid and what’s really important.
When we come to Christ, we can unload our burdens, let him carry them for us. But sometimes you’ve just got to say, "You know, I don’t even need that thing. Leave it on the road."
And pray I’ll be able to take my own advice.
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